Cecilitis

I've often wondered, if somebody from another planet came to earth and just rode on buses and walked up and down the street, if anybody would really notice if this person from another planet was different from everyone else. Here in Chicago, I think they could live for years and no one would ever really notice that they're from another planet because there are many people here that, at least if they are not from another planet, they are definitely not of this world.

One of those people that I am speaking of is a woman that I refer to as "Cecilitis." Cecilitis is a disease. I don't know if I am pronouncing it correctly, but it's some strange disease that is similar to athlete's foot. I don't know exactly, what it does or whatever, but the reason I call this woman that is because one time I heard her talking to some friend of hers on the bus and she said: "I have cecilitis!" And I thought oh what a funny sounding disease.

But, anyway, this lady, you might've seen her, she, rides around on the buses. And she has bleached blond hair that looks like it's a hairpiece. But it's not a hairpiece. It's a long, long, blond, uh... you wouldn't say braid, but it's a long, long "Q" that grows out of her head that is otherwise completely shaven bald. And another little old lady that I know was speaking to her one time and said "now tell me, why do you, shave the hair on your head and leave that little place where that, that long blond braid grows?" And at that point Cecilitis opened up her purse on the bus and pulled out a barber's straight razor, and I mean one of those very sharp straight razors that men used to shave with. And she took the straight razor and she said: "It doesn't grow so I have to shave it."  And then she proceeded, while the bus was in motion, to shave her forehead with this straight razor. She was evidently very good at doing it because she didnít cut herself, there was no blood at all, and my friend who was speaking to her, this other little old lady, persuaded Cecilitis to put the razor back into her purse because she might hurt herself on the bus.

Cecilitis, aside from her funny long braid, has no eyebrows at all and she draws these long, long, long eyebrows that almost look like antennae - these black thin eyebrows and she puts a lot of very light make up on her face which only accentuates the deep, deep wrinkles that she has and she puts a big, big blob of lipstick on and it almost makes her look like a clown - particularly when she bursts out laughing for no reason on the bus. And she'll be sitting behind the driver, where she usually likes to sit, and she'll just break out laughing and she is one of these people that everybody on the bus looks at and as soon as she leaves the bus everybody starts talking about her and wondering who, or what, she is. 
 
 

Being an Urban Nomad

I suppose that being without an actual residence, being an urban nomad is an excellent preliminary to being dead because people don't notice you, you are generally ignored - I suppose the same way a ghost would be - and that way when you finally kick the bucket you don't have to look for a place to pee; you don't get hungry and no one will ask you for a cigarette.

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